That it didn’t become a running joke was, in my opinion, singular evidence of our demise. I really love it and wish I had it framed in my living room. In hindsight, the list’s existence doesn’t shock me (I had my own versions in the form of nauseatingly long Word documents), but the of it are so telling. That my best qualities in his eyes — cute, fun, nice, hot — were nowhere close to the ones I valued in myself and would prefer to be loved for — my mind, personality, literally anything else — should have been a smack upside the head for me. The reality is, if they don’t meet that expectation and they haven’t met it for the past five years- six months, what would make you think they will meet it in six more months?!
For example, if a woman were to say, “I expect to move forward in this relationship within the next six months” and the couple has been dating for five years, that’s a reasonable expectation. If things are going as planned, you will find your timetable is perfect for you.
The parameter is fair and you are giving your mate time to make a decision. BMWK – How long is too long to date someone (when you want to get married?
The woman in each relationship wanted to be married.
The man in each relationship might have gotten married—but they didn’t have anything to show them they needed to be married.
This, of course, is how looking for a pen in his desk animorphed me into a raccoon sniffing around a dumpster. When he got back later that day, I knew that’d I’d cave and tell him. Oddly enough, my concern was not for the totally batshit contents of the list. My memory of the conversation is a little blurry (it was a decade ago!